Which is one of the many reasons I like cycling. It means that I can open a national newspaper and find well-paid columnists threatening to kill me, or inciting their readers to do the same.
Brian Appleyard in the Sunday Times:
now I find myself facing the real possibility that I am going to kill someone and they will probably be wearing lycra shortsHe plans to think of the killing as “assisted suicide”.
Jeremy Clarkson in the Sun:
Do not pull up at junctions in front of a line of traffic. Because if I'm behind you, I will set off at normal speed and you will be crushed under my wheels.Is he serious? I can’t tell. But sometimes when I stop at a junction, I look at the driver of the car behind me and wonder if he might be a Clarkson-wannabe.
Matthew Parris in the Times:
A festive custom we could do worse than foster would be stringing piano wire across country lanes to decapitate cyclists ... the lynching of a cyclist by a mob of mothers with pushchairs would be a joy to witness.I think Mr. Parris intends this as a joke. Ha ha ha, stupid cyclists, can’t take a joke, can they? But I will be feeling a little bit of fear every time I cycle down a path that runs between trees.
Of course, this only gives me the tiniest taste of what it's like. And I have a choice: when I get off my bike, no-one can tell that I’m not an ordinary person. But I try to use this experience to increase my understanding and empathy.